Full Circle
After college, I moved back to Denver to be closer to family. I had an elementary education degree under my belt along with early childhood and something in social science - I can't even remember the details - it seems like it was 127 years ago.
I wanted to work with kids. I wanted to teach. Somehow, I stumbled across a job as an overnight youth treatment counselor for some place that had been around for 100 years and used to be an orphanage. The story pulled on my heartstrings - I was all-in! I was so young and so naive and really had no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew nothing about the foster care system, trauma, failed placements, and emotional disabilities...but I fell hard. I knew I could serve these students and love them completely. While serving students with emotional disabilities, I started graduate school to add special education to my list of licenses. I found my people at Tennyson Center. We had really really hard days and then decompressed and laughed harder than I ever remember laughing before. I made fast friends with the most amazing people whom I still love deeply! I stumbled upon this home I didn't know I needed at the time.
It was my time working at Tennyson when I became familiar with the foster care system and started dreaming about adoption. Chris and I couldn't conceive and it seemed so natural to start the process of becoming foster parents while dreaming about bringing home children of our own. I mean, I was serving children everyday who needed a loving family to call home, why couldn't we provide that for someone?! I knew trauma and felt like we could take this challenge on. There were a few rules - ages 0-4 (I wanted to experience their entire school experience), any race, sex, special need.
We were licensed for 3 days and had gotten a call each day. None felt right. Then the call came that changed our lives. Infant boy, African American, cocaine, ready to be picked up from the hospital. Based on known history, adoption likely.
All-in! We borrowed a carseat from the caseworker, took 7 weeks off work immediately, and called everyone we knew. We needed everything, there was no way to prepare for an infant when we were expecting a toddler. Family and friends showed up with bottles, clothes, blankets, and so many other things we didn't know we needed. My sister came over that night and made us all spaghetti for dinner - I couldn't even think that many steps ahead and was so grateful. As blurry as the next few weeks would be, that day is crystal clear and full of some of my most precious memories.
I've long since left Tennyson Center and have built a career as a Director of Special Education in one of our local school districts. As Carter was starting middle school this last fall, I was so hopeful. Hopeful that he would thrive. Hopeful that being with more age peers his age would help. Hopeful that he would find peace and get to experience all the middle school years.
A few weeks in, I knew it wouldn't be so. I know where we were headed. With a ton of tears, therapy, and support, we made a decision that would change his educational setting. Day Treatment. Facility school. Separate School. Whatever you want to call it...it was absolutely TERRIFYING! Don't get me wrong, I LOVED Tennyson! If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have my family. However, sometimes knowing too much is debilitating. We've spend over 12 years creating a safe place for my boys to grow and thrive. I just couldn't believe Carter needed this level of care. We had the IEP meeting. I cried to our out of district coordinator, a dear friend who was my boss on the day we brought Carter home. She's known Carter since the day he became ours. I would lean on her to lead us through our next chapter. I trusted her to find the right placement for my love.
There are over 40 facility schools in our area. I had no idea where we would land, I just knew there would be a transition. She called me...
Tennyson ASPEN program. I was in total disbelief.
