Puberty, Autism, and Developmental Disabilities…oh my!
PUBERTY, Autism, and Developmental Disabilites…oh my!
PUBERTY with visual supports!
I made the first version of “green guy” visual when I was teaching students with significant cognitive disabilities in middle school. More than half of my class had Autism and I had the privilege of partnering with an amazing Autism coach through the Department of Education. Ms. Kate is amazing, of course we became good friends. She taught me so much in such a short period of time, conversations and take-a-ways I’ll never forget!
Green Guy
It is so incredibly common for students on the spectrum, as well as other disabilities, to claw their way through puberty. Let’s be real – puberty is horrible for everyone, disabilities or not.
Kate had been working with youth and young adults with Autism for a long time, I was newer in this particular field, boy was I in for a real awakening! Not only do children have a hard time, but their families! Oh, their families – I sigh because that’s me. I’m now the family. As you can imagine, families are all over the place! Some are in complete denial; some are so open and honest. I felt myself turn 27 shades of red every time this came up in conversation – which was much more often than anyone is comfortable with. We made visuals, social stories, and had hard conversations about values, expectations, and the reality of their son or daughter’s ability to understand their bodies and what they can and cannot do at school. Oy! Can you even imagine! If you’re a special education teacher or a mental health provider supporting students with cognitive disabilities, I know you feel me! This is where “green guy” came into my life. I’ve held onto him for many years and continue to share him when I get the chance.
NOTE: Do not google PUBERTY VISUALS
no one wants to see that!
Well, I had several years navigating this as a teacher and then as a behavior analyst with the district. Let me tell you…nothing prepared me to have these same experiences, fears, thoughts, and attitudes of denial as a parent. I mean, my son just turned 11! Developmentally, he’s not even close to that. He doesn’t understand the language, doesn’t understand the biology, cannot possibly comprehend what is happening to his poor little body. Let me tell you a secret…none of those things matter. Boys and girls will go through puberty when their body says it’s time. None of those other things can slow time and wait for his little brain to catch up.
I’m in for it! Man, am I in for it! All those conversations I had with parents, it’s so much easier as the professional. I didn’t have to deal with it in my home.
Then, BAM! It’s in my OWN HOME! I’m desperately looking for websites, visuals, books, anything I can get my hands on that will make this easier. The reality is there are very few resources, I’ll be making my own. I dug out my trusty “green guy” and gave him a makeover with pictures of my home and my son’s school. The other tool I have here is a five-point scale for what and where one can touch. I was so thankful I could manipulate this tool to reflect people of color so my son could see himself in the pictures. In addition to these tools, I anticipate needing to address these topics soon:
Hygiene – this kid needs full assistance in a shower. And now he has ZITS! I need to teach him how to wash his face appropriately. I remember my own mom trying to teach me how to wash my face to prevent zits, it wasn’t easy, nor was it fun. This will not be easy with Carter either.
Shaving – holy buckets! I can’t imagine shaving his little beautiful face. Please, Lord, let this come last! Well, almost last.
Private areas – what are my private areas, and who can see and touch.
Where can I be naked – I had to make a social story last year about how we need to keep our clothes on at school. Now we get to address this again in a different way #prayforme
As you can imagine, this list only gets more horrifying as we move through this process. I think I’ll start here and see where this road takes us.
Stay tuned…
#sendhelp #sendwine
