ADHD - invisible disability - it’s no joke!

Not all DISABILITIES are obvious!

In our house, we have so many disabilities and diagnoses, we lose track sometimes.

I recently had to ask our medical team which was primary because I simply could not remember – nor does it really matter most days – we just survive. Carter’s first diagnosis was ADHD – I think this was diagnosed before he was 2. There is such a high correlation between cocaine exposure and ADHD, it was just a given. This was not a surprise, nor was it an answer in his case.

Our youngest son, Mason, was also diagnosed with ADHD. ADHD is one of many invisible disabilities. The difference is that he was diagnosed at the age of 8, not 2. For Mason, this diagnosis and medication provided clarity and relief. We felt like we had a roadmap and a plan. For him, it explained all the reason things are so hard! School is hard. Making and keeping friends is HARD. Getting things done is HARD. Staying in control is HARD. Controlling emotions is HARD. Controlling his body is hard. Soooo many things are HARD!

Not all needs come with an IEP or special education services. This does not mean life is easy. It still takes him everything he has to get through a school day. Life is not easy for this kid! I recently read this poem and thought it perfectly describes some of our daily struggles.

MASON

funny + happy + smart + optimistic

Take my hand and come with me,

I want to teach you about ADHD.

I need you to know, I want to explain,

I have a very different brain.

Sights, sounds, and thoughts collide.

What to do first? I can’t decide.

Please understand I’m not to blame,

I just can’t process things the same.

Take my hand and walk with me,

Let me show you about ADHD.

I try to behave, I want to be good,

But I sometimes forget to do as I should.

Walk with me and wear my shoes,

You’ll see its not the way I’d choose.

I do know what I’m supposed to do,

But my brain is slow getting the message through.

Take my hand and talk with me,

I want to tell you about ADHD.

I rarely think before I talk,

I often run when I should walk.

It’s hard to get my school work done,

My thoughts are outside having fun.

I never know just where to start,

I think with my feelings and see with my heart.

Take my hand and stand by me,

I need you to know about ADHD.

It’s hard to explain but I want you to know,

I can’t help letting my feelings show.

Sometimes I’m angry, jealous, or sad.

I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and mad.

I can’t concentrate and I lose all my stuff.

I try really hard but it’s never enough.

Take my hand and learn with me,

We need to know more about ADHD.

I worry a lot about getting things wrong,

Everything I do takes twice as long.

Everyday is exhausting for me…

Looking through the fog of ADHD.

I’m often so misunderstood,

I would change in a heartbeat if I could.

Take my hand and listen to me,

I want to share a secret about ADHD.

I want you to know there is more to me.

I’m not defined by it, you see.

I’m sensitive, kind and lots of fun.

I’m blamed for things I haven’t done.

I’m the loyalist friend you’ll ever know,

I just need a chance to let it show.

Take my hand and look at me,

Just forget about the ADHD.

I have real feelings just like you.

The love in my heart is just as true.

I may have a brain that can never rest,

But please understand I’m trying my best.

I want you to know, I need you to see,

I’m more than the label, I am still me!!!!

By Andrea Chesterman-Smith